The house is silent, thinking I am the only one awake and can get some stuff done..
And my 10year old comes into the room sobbing..
I grab him and embrace him in a huge hug and ask him what's wrong..
And he says..i don't ever want you to die...
One day you will die, and I can't stand it..he says.,,
So I ( gulping back the inner voice saying- wahhhhhhh what do you mean I'm going to die 😬😳😳) ask him what caused this, and he said he was in his room looking at old photo albums of when he was a baby and me holding him, etc..
And - omg!! I was just soooo touched!
For so long I have felt like...I don't know how to reach out to him, he's so grown up,now...and I miss him so much.
And here he is, so vonerable,
So instead of just brushing it aside, because physically I am exhausted and was so,excited to finally have some time to myself..
But I crawled into bed with him , and hugged him, talked to him , and listened to him.
He said one of his best memories of us was a time in Vermont when I got in bed with him and sang - you are my sunshine -
And so , tonight, as I clung to my first born baby boy, I gently sang the words to the sing that my own mother sang a few times to me ...
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy when sky's are grey
You'll never know dear, hiw much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away..
