LOOKING FOR MYSELF

Getting into the routine somewhat- of having the school day to myself..

I'm going to list my feelings- both positive and negative

POSITIVE:

time to accomplish tasks

time to breath

time to do some things for myself

i am more relaxed

I find that my time with my children is MUCH better

I have so much more to give

i have more time to volunteer in their classroom and go on class trips

I have time to think- to feel- to put myself first

I have time to plan my day as i deem necessary

I am able to cook more

NEGATIVE:

feel lost

feel lonely

feeling like I'm loosing my babies

miss not getting to see them as much

am searching...

To sum it up- I am a better mom now- calmer- I have time- actual time- so I'm not running around stressed and angry all the time- I know I have more to give to everyone (even the fish and our car peach)

and I know that this is the best thing for everyone...

Its just going to be a BIG soul searching time for me..

for the first time- I can listen to my inner voice- take care of myself (something I'm not good at) and find things that fulfill me- I know i need to find my own things- my kids don't want to feel the helicopter parent who is obsessed with them.. I KNOW that- they need a mom who is independent- fulfilled and has a life outside of being "mommy"

but that also scares me- because that is how I defined myself for soooo long

so... I guess for now- USHER is not the only one- looking for myself;0