Looking for a little light...

Four weeks into summer...

Part of me is soooo enjoying it...love the easy pace, no rules...dinner whenever, sleepy mornings , no homework and lunches to pack...

Getting time to spend with my boys- hanging with them daily...it's nice... A nicer tone then during school., where it's hard to get imt their routine...and I feel like they get the worst if me.

But the downside is that everyday - I am left to come up with things to keep us busy - which I don't think I'm good at...I try,.

But it's especially hard on. Budget and when your car breaks down and you has no car

So yes, I have been feeling depressed because a summer with two biys at home and no money and now no car - leaves things very bleak......: 

How do I fill the time..hike do I keep hem happy, how do I keep them fulfilled, how do I keep me happy, how do I keep me fulfilled? 

Guilty I feel for almost eveything I do.,.

I can not be 100% for anyone....

Spreading myself thin...

I know if I had a nice, trustworthy car- I would drive anywhere to any free events- I would go to the beach just to let the, jump in at 6 pm- but I don't and I can't- because I am always worrying about the car- and now it's done

I am Doing my best to be resourceful - call up friends- set play dates, think of games we can play- stay resourceful...

But at the end of the day..

I just feel hopeless

Like a mom, just me, with worry, 

And unsure of how to keep it going every day...

How to keep me going - so I can keep the family going ....

Here are my babies! 

Mamma needs a new car