Holiday stress

Uggggggg

I am a total nightmare to be around...

My stress level is sooo high right now...

I'm snapping at the kids, irritable, sad, worried- you name it ....

And I kept asking myself ..why?? What's wrong with me..is it pms?? When's my period due..

And then I realized...the holidays are here - we have NO money - my husbands been worrying about his work for years now and thungs are especially bad now...we have negative bank account as soon as payday hits..

And I alone am responsible for creating a magic like Christmas for everyone 

Gifts, stockings, advent calander, 5 birthdays .... Traveling home to Vermont...and hoping to make it all up for everyone...

And ..no money ...

I'm exhausted, my while body feels tight...am unable to relax until everyone is asleep and I can be on my own with lots of wine...

Uggggggggggggggggg

I'm sad because I love Christmas and holiday festivities..and mad because I can't partake and do as much as I would like to do..

And I know I should feel fortunate because there are soo many people out there that have it way worse...

But I'm stuck in the mad, sad, frustrated for now