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Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts

Thursday, August 30, 2012

My baby Is off to kindegarten

And I'm so so sad! Not sure why I'm having SUCH a hard time/ but I know that my nest is empty/ this is the big step into the world and from here on/ he's only going to be moving further and further away from me. As a mom it's the first time I have felt such a cut/ the connection is slipping away/ thinner and thinner/ until one day/ he will be off to college
Now I'm not trying to be all
Doom and gloom/ of corse there are all sorts of wonderful things that come along with this/ I get more time/ won't be so
Stressed/ can find things I enjoy that fulfill me after so long being a care taker/ but most of all- the feeling I'm feeling now that is hard/ very hard/ is my babies are taking a step away from me / I can sence the change when I gather them from school/ the reconnect is more difficult/ there trying to be "tough" and are noticeably more distant- more social stigmatisms are there- Harrison .. For the first time/ told me that all day a girl was staring at me- and that he was so
Embarrassed ?
First time ive ever even noticed or heard him talk about being aware of feelings such as embarrassment?
One day in school..
It's harder to reach my baby/ the connection we had- the boy who when he's tired would come
To
Me/ and we were so connected/ I feel almost an anger from him/ towards me- a boy I don't know/ one who is starting to be interested in girls/ has own friends/ don't know- with gabe it was different/ he always shared his thoughts and feelings / I feel
Like Harrison internalized so much